The Luck of the Insomniac
by Shadow51247
Summary: This is my attempt at a self-insert story. One night as I lay down to sleep, I somehow get transported to Equestria. Not only that, but I've been ponified! Rated T for safety for now. The rating may be subject to change with any chapter. CANCELLED
1. The Prologue

**A/N – This is just an attempt at starting a story. It will be a self-insert human-turned-pony-in-Equestria and not liable to be finished. If I have enough people following the story and leaving reviews in a positive way (saying it's good, constructive criticism, or ideas to use) I will try to work on it more often and try to complete it. This story is not intended to be good in any sense of the word. I am merely trying my hand at writing.**

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><p><em><strong>The Luck of the Insomniac<strong>_

Prologue

My name is Joseph. I'm your average Senior at your average Midwest American high school. I'm 18 years old, 6'1, with dark brown hair and dark chocolate brown eyes; though many would say they're black. I'm not really athletic and to be honest, a little overweight. I really hate my life, as I'm the brunt of most of the verbal abuse at my school. Home isn't really much better. Due to this, my heart has pretty much become a black hole, so to speak. The only things I've ever actually enjoyed in my life are games, Ponies, and anime. I first discovered My Little Pony while playing on a ponified Team Fortress 2 server in the middle of the summer of '11. It made me curious as to why many of the people on the server liked it so much. I began to explore the internet and watched the first episode, instantly enjoying it. My favorite pony at first was Rainbow Dash, but later switched to Fluttershy after a while. You could almost say I admire her.

I was just finishing some matches of Shattered Horizon, a space based first person shooter, when I felt the familiar sense of fatigue. I figured I may as well get ready for bed. I have never slept well at night. I always wake up tired and in a different position than when I fell asleep in, usually with all my covers on the floor. To make matters worse, I most often can't fall asleep until the early hours of the morning, around one or two. I wake up every morning for school around 7:50, have my contacts in and am dressed within five minutes, and get out the door on my bike by 8:00. It takes me approximately five minutes to bike to school, and five more to get everything ready for first period. At 8:15, school starts and the boredom begins. Roughly 7 hours later, at 3:20, school gets out and I'm off to work. I'm there for around two to three hours, depending on what needs to be done. When I get home, it's still more of the same routine, homework, dinner, games, shower, and finally bed. Day in and day out it's the same thing, always repeating, never stopping. I wish I could get out of it. I wish I could leave the world. I wish I could go to Equestria. I wish. Yeah, two words I've said to myself for years. Little did I know, as I lay down to sleep for the night, that those years of wishing would finally pay off.

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><p><strong>AN – Well, there we are, setting up for what has a 2% chance of being a decent story. I think this prologue went fairly well, but I may just be giving myself too much credit. As I said, more reviews and follows will make it more likely for me to work on this and try to complete it. I'm going to hold off on writing the next chapter for now, just to see some of your opinions. I will warn you now though, I only have a single thing I'm planning on doing in this story right now; otherwise everything else will most likely be spur-of-the-moment, as-I-think-of-it kind of stuff.**


	2. The Beginning

**A/N – Well, I've decided to work on this chapter anyway. Don't expect the chapters to be very long. I'm not good at writing extensive things. Read on, and remember, I welcome all ideas of things to do with this. However, not all may be used for various reasons that will depend on the idea.**

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><p>I awoke as I usually did in the morning. Tired, not wanting to wake up, and above all, with my eyes still closed, trying to milk the sleepy feeling for all it was worth. Eventually I cracked my eyes open. Immediately, I knew something was wrong. One, my bedroom was so dark that barely any sunlight ever got in, yet I was bombarded by sunlight. Two, I was outside. Three, I could feel my back felt a little strange. It didn't feel sore and achy like it always did, but rather…different. Four, the colors and look of the world where brighter, happier, and more like a cartoon. I had my suspicions already. However, there were a few things I needed to check before I could verify them.<p>

Step one; look myself over. Black coat, wings, four hooves, a cutie mark of purple flames, and a two-tone mane of a darker and lighter shade of purple. I was a Pegasus. Strangely, I did not have a tail.

'_Oh well, that doesn't matter right now.'_

The only thing I could see that I kept was my watch, resting on my front, right leg.

Step two; test my voice, if I have one.

"Testing, testing, 1, 2, 3."

I had a voice. This helped further fortify my suspicions.

Step three; name myself. I've seen this kind of thing in many times in many fan fictions. People would come here to Equestria and go right for Ponyville without any kind of plan. I was going to fake amnesia and not say anything about the human world unless absolutely necessary. I decided, with the help of my cutie mark and colors, that I would name myself Shadow Fyre. I always liked the idea of names replacing 'i' with 'y'

This left me with only one step left to act on; I set off down the path I only just noticed was by me.

'_Way to be observant.'_

After about 30 minutes of walking, a town began to make itself visible along the horizon. Another 10 and I was entering the lightly bustling town, which just so happened to be inhabited by ponies. My suspicions have been confirmed. I'm in Equestria. I didn't know exactly what town, but if the various familiar landmarks were any indication, I was in none other than Ponyville itself. What sheer dumb luck, eh?

With this in mind I tried to start walking through the town, but my path as quickly blocked by a pink pony, a mare. I'll give you one guess.

"Hello there! My name's Pinkie Pie!" If you guessed it, go get some cookie dough. You're making your own cookie. "I haven't ever seen you in Ponyville before, and I know everypony in Ponyville, which means you must be new and don't have any friends, which must be sad, but it also means I get to throw a PARTY and introduce you to all of Ponyville…"

I stuffed my hoof in her mouth to muffle the constant ranting of Pinkie and allow my head the chance to have its ache diminish. It wasn't aching from her chatter. Not at all, but rather just the speed at which it was coming. After a while she stopped talking and allowed me to speak myself.

"Hello Pinkie, my name is Shadow Fyre, spelled with a 'y' in place of the 'i'. I am very pleased to meet you and would love to attend this party." My face MAY have cracked into a tiny smile as I said this, instead of remaining in its normal, stoic, expressionless state.

"Well then be at Sugarcube Corner at about 3:00 this afternoon! It looks like a big gingerbread house! Until then, feel free to explore the rest of town! With luck you might bump into my friends, Twilight Sparkle, Fluttershy, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity! Bye Shadow Fyre! Bye author!"

'_That Pinkie, always breaking the fourth wall. Oh well, at least it's funny when it happens.'_

**A short trek around town later**

I had been exploring the town for a while, learning the layout of Ponyville. It was fairly larger than the show made it out to be, but I guess that's understandable. I found Sugarcube Corner, the Library, and Carousel Boutique, but I hadn't gone to any of them yet. I wanted to find Fluttershy's cottage first before going to the Library. Just in case there was the minuscule chance that she might invite me to stay at her place while I'm here. It would be preferable to me than staying at the Library, if there does happen to be spare rooms. I've never really been much of an outgoing person to be honest. I have a feeling it will be a little different now.

As I neared a side street, I could see a small cottage in the distance. I realized I hadn't even flown at all yet. Then I noticed that walking had already come naturally to me, like I had been a pony all my life. I decided to put my theory to the test. I unfurled my wings, gave them a few test flaps to get a feel for the new limbs, stretched a little, and readied up. When I felt confident, I leapt into the air, flapping my wings. Theory confirmed. I guess all bodily functions come naturally to me in this world. That's a good thing, I'm sure.

After a minute or two of flying (it felt amazing!) I made it to the cottage. It was most definitely Fluttershy's. The Everfree was the only forest I knew about near Ponyville. Not to mention all the blatantly obvious animal housing all around. The only thing I didn't immediately see was Fluttershy herself.

'_She must be inside. If not, at a friend's maybe?'_

I knocked on the door anyway. She might be home.

"Coming!" I hear from inside. Yes, she's home. I feel so lucky. Maybe, just maybe.

The door opens to reveal a canary yellow Pegasus with a baby pink mane and teal eyes. Definitely Fluttershy. I can feel a small lump forming in my throat. Swallowing it, I begin to speak.

"H-h-hello" I barely stammer out. _'Smooth.'_

"H-hi," she whispers while hiding behind her mane.

'_It sounds better in person! In pony? Whatever it may be. Wait a minute, why does my head feel light?'_

"Mister? Mister? Hello?" *THUMP* "EEK!"

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><p><strong>AN – Holy crap! Just what happened to me? Tune in next…aw forget it. Review if you want. I started writing this chapter last night. After a bit of thought, I rewrote the end here to give myself a better chance of staying at Fluttershy's place. In other news, I listened to this song on YouTube throughout the entire chapter. /watch?v=wxoGmVjAsmE**


	3. The Situation

**A/N - Why, hello there! Yes, this is another chapter for you who have wanted more. Wait, DO any of you want more? It's hard to tell. Anyway, I've been busy with some school work and my job, so I haven't had much time to write (type). I've also been watching Code Lyoko again. It's a very nice show. I also have two ideas for fictions. One I don't think has ever been used before. The other is a Fluttermac. Anyway, let's get this train wreck going, eh?**

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><p>I woke up to the sound of light chatter. Opening my eyes, I could see I was in a sizable room, lying on the couch. Apparently, there were others here, talking while I had been passed out. Wait, how long has it been, and what happened to me?<p>

*groan*

The talking stopped. I turned towards where it had been coming from. Six ponies walked into the room from a doorless doorway, the kind that usually separates a kitchen from a living room.

"Well, look who finally decided to wake up. My name is Twilight Sparkle, and these are my friends, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack. You've been tossing the entire time you've been unconscious. We stopped putting the blanket back on you after the third time. What's your name?" Twilight said.

"Name's Shadow Fyre, but you can just call me Shadow. What exactly happened to me? It's kinda hazy."

Fluttershy, surprising me a little with her boldness, spoke, "You passed out from heat exhaustion. It kind of startled me because it's not very hot out right now. My friends had to help drag you in here. Do you feel any better?"

"Heat exhaustion huh? Hmmm. I remember having a bit of a headache before passing out, but I don't remember feeling very warm, just itchy. Then again, my skin always gets like that when I'm hot. Thanks for taking care of me though! How long have I been here anyway?"

"'Bout three er four hours. Ah didn' watch the time closely," stated Applejack.

"Wow. Sorry to inconvenience you. As soon as I find a place to stay and a job, I'll pay you as thanks."

"You don't even have a place to stay? Why don't you stay here while you're getting better? You don't have to worry about paying me."

Element of Kindness indeed.

"I guess that works for now, but when I have a job, I insist on at least paying for food costs. I have my own stubborn pride and I won't take no for an answer."

"That's fine with me for now."

*growl*

They started looking around franticly for the noise. I just snickered in my silent way. Eventually they noticed me shaking.

"Oh dear, are you cold?" Fluttershy inquired.

"Not at all, I'm laughing because that noise was my stomach."

"I will get you something to eat," Rarity said. She walked back into the kitchen and soon came back out with a sandwich and a glass of apple juice.

"Thank you."

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><p><strong>A Short Chat Later<strong>

"So you're saying you don't remember very much of your past?" Twilight asked

"Right, and I'm not sure I really want to. Most of what I DO remember is bad, and I don't want to think about it much, if at all. I just want to leave it behind."

"Oh you poor thing! I'll promise to take care of you and help you forget all your bad experiences," Fluttershy said in a motherly tone.

"Thank you Fluttershy. I can tell the seven of us will be very good friends. That or we'll drive each other to the point of extreme insanity. Either one's fine with me!" They were looking at me strangely.

"What?"

"Nothin'. We should pr'y leave and let y'all rest with Mother 'Shy." Fluttershy squeaked at being called Mother 'Shy and her face started to turn an orange color. She looked so cute when she was blushing.

"You know, I think you would make a great mother. All you have to do is find the right stallion to settle down with."

"You really think so?"

"I know so"

"Thank you. You're so kind." She nuzzled me before going to feed her animals.

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><p><strong>Meanwhile<strong>

"Luna, could you come here a minute?"

"What be thy problem, Sister?"

"I just received a letter from my student, Twilight, which says she met a new pony today. I have reasons to believe that this pony is the human we've been looking for that has come to our world. From what I can guess from the letter, he hasn't said anything about his world yet. I want you to stay with him and make sure it stays that way. If anything about his world leaked into ours, it could be disastrous. Can you do this for me?

"Yes Sister."

"Thank you Luna."

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><p><strong>AN – Aw shiz. Things about to get crazy go nutz. Maybe. Screw it. Holy crap! I've had 100 visits to my story! Review if you want. Next chapter will start with a small time skip of a day to me feeling better. Will include Luna's arrival and a short chat with her, and getting a job. Again, don't expect these chapters to be very long. Until we meet again upon this train wreck I call a fan fiction attempt.**


	4. The Job

**A/N – Rawr. Chapter. Read. Criticize. Rage. Troll Physics.**

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><p>Today was a nice day. The birds where chirping, the wind was breezing, the sun was shining, and what was I doing? Sulking inside, that's what. I had asked Rainbow Dash about how often it rained here, and she had said once a month, during the spring and summer. For lack of a better phrase, I was disappoint. I LOVE the rain, and the sun is my worst enemy. I enjoyed the look of the grey, cloudy sky as it was raining, the smell in the air, and the sound of raindrops hitting the roof. Needless to say, I was upset.<p>

However there was one very good upside. The day/night cycle was almost exactly half and half. I enjoyed the night. It was far prettier than on Earth. I chalked it up to the lack of severe light pollution. I guess you could say I was a nocturnal kind of guy.

*knock, knock, knock*

"Shadow, would you get that please? I need to make sure Angel Bunny eats his food."

"Sure thing 'Shy." She blushed a little at this. I just snickered a little.

Opening the door, I was surprised to see Princess Luna.

"Hello. Art thou the one called Shadow Fyre?"

I bowed and said, "Yes, Your Majesty."

"Come with me, please. I wish to converse with thee in private on behalf of mine sister."

"As you wish, Princess."

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><p>"As thou can see, we know all about thyself. We trust nothing of thy past shalt be revealed?"<p>

"Nothing. I hadn't planned to divulge anything about it unless absolutely necessary. I simply want to put it behind me and move on to something better. Besides, the corruption of my world was not meant to reach to here. If I can help it, I won't let it set foot in Equestria."

"Then it looks as though our work here is done. Good day, Shadow Fyre."

"Wait Princess Luna, I want to say one last thing. I really appreciate your nights. They are by far the most beautiful creations I have ever seen. They have earned you the title of My Favorite Princess in my book."

"I am favorite?"

"Indeed." She smiled at this.

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><p>After the talk with Princess Luna, I decided now was as good a time as any to find a job. Luckily enough for me, Fluttershy said that all the listings of available jobs were on a corkboard outside the Town Hall. While looking at the listings, one caught my eye. It was a listing for a DJ assistant. I quickly snagged it from the board and made off towards the address. Soon I was standing in front of P0N-3 Production Studios. I couldn't believe my luck. Here I was standing, on the verge of having the chance to work for THE most celebrated pony DJ on Earth. I was psyched.<p>

I cantered up to the front door of the small brick building. When I knocked on the door I heard a voice from inside yell "Coming!" and the sound of hooves on a wooden floor soon followed. The door opened and revealed a white unicorn mare with a two-tone electric blue mane and tail, purple shades upon her snout.

"Hello ma'am, my name is Shadow Fyre, and I'm here about the opening for a DJ assistant. Is the job still available?"

"You bet your sexy piece of flank it is. Name's Vinyl Scratch, but you can just call me Vinyl. Job's yours if you want it." She said, grinning like a madmare.

"Sexy? Aw screw thinkin' about it, I'll take it. What does the job entail exactly?"

"The usual. Lugging around and setting up equipment, checking to make sure things are right, that kind of stuff. Your pay will be 30% of what we make at a gig. In case you're wondering, 30% is usually around 900 bits. We usually have a gig every other week. I'll inform you a day or two in advance when we have one."

"Sounds good to me!" I grinned like a madstallion. She chuckled at my display.

"I can tell you're just as crazy as I am. We might have to have some 'fun' sometime."

"If by 'fun' you mean pranks."

"Yeah, of course!" I think I may have heard a little disappointment, which led me to think of two possibilities. Either she wants to rape me, or Fluttershy may be getting some competition. Or both. Oh well, I'd check by the Library later for dating and marriage laws before it turns into anything. I said goodbye to Vinyl and started heading home to Fluttershy's.

**A/N – Holy crap! A fourth chapter rears its ugly head in this runaway train! Anyway, I'm running out of creative ideas to write about for this fiction. PM me your ideas! I'll take them into consideration and decide if they fit into what I want this to be in the end. Well? Don't be shy! I'll accept all submissions of ideas! Even that crappy one about your watermelon that you can't help but think about right now.**

**P.S. – Go and listen to _RE: Your Brains_ by Jonathan Coulton.**

**P.P.S – P. is fun.**

**P.P.P.S. – _Code Lyoko_ and _High School of the Dead_ are the two best animes ever.**


	5. News

Hello readers. I bring important news of both the good and bad type. I am going to discontinue this story on the grounds that I can't even figure out where I want this thing to go anymore. HOWEVER! I am working on a new story that will be both similar and different to this one. I plan on posting it on Fimfiction as well. So be on the watch for that.

In other news, I also have the end of school coming up, and then it will be summer. I'm also trying to get Prototype and Prototype 2 for PC soon, so once I have those, my story writing might go down for a time.


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